


The end should be simple

by Ried_chan



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 13:12:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2026365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ried_chan/pseuds/Ried_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enough is enough he thinks and well, when does anything ever turn out the way it is supposed to?</p><p> </p><p>  <i>(Oh, and do ignore the title I'm awful at naming stuff)</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The end should be simple

He looked down upon the streets and up as far as his eyes could see. The skyscrapers were towering over the streets and the morning light covering everything like a warm blanket. 

For once he wished he could just step out of the shadows, not feeling ashamed. Ashamed of his blood, his very being, ashamed of his magic and his skill with knives, ashamed of his genes and to have actually believed to have been a part of a race far more superior. He was nothing, no he was worse than nothing for he was a beast, a monster that children were thought to fear. 

A red and gold dot was quickly closing in from the west, far to soon. Of course he had known that as soon as he appeared he would have been found and hunted down by the heroes of the city.

A sigh escaped him and made him freeze for a second, had be truly fallen so far? He had not known himself to be so tired, even if he had decided to end it all he had not really known himself to be so lost.

Looking at his hands he realized that they were shaking and it was not until that tear landed on his hand that he was aware of the fact that he was crying. He wiped the tears away and with determination jumped up on the rail. It would be a 1000m fall when he jumped, he had already put on the magic restricting cuffs that he had stolen a week earlier. They would keep him from being able to change his mind in a moment of panic like last month, that had just been pathetic. A monster unable to do anything correctly, not even 'off himself' as the mortals called it. Now the only thing he had to do was take a step forward and it would all end. The lifelong pain and suffering would finally have its end.

The red dot was gaining size and getting too close to his liking. He wanted to have time to say his goodbyes even if no one could hear them. His children were his last regret, having to leave them behind, but they would be better of without a monster as a parent. They were his only pride and joy, they were no beasts as the Áss had called them as they dragged them away from him and banished them to places he would never be able to find. He hoped they were well, that they were happy and not alone like him. Of course he had searched for them, he had never truly given up on that search.

He closed his eyes, simply breathing in and out feeling the wind in his hair and hearing the chaos of everyday New York as the humans hurried to get to work. They all had their purpose and their own place in society. Then there was the tell tale sign of metal landing on stone that could only be the moral hero 'man of iron' as Thor had called him.

He turned around and looked at the mortal standing but a few meters away.

“Did you decide to arrest yourself?” was the amused words that escaped the man's mouth. The man of iron was rumoured not to think before talking and that really did prove it.

His only answer was a sigh, that seemed to be something he simply did this day.

“Loki the god that wanted to rule us all” the man of iron singsonged and gestured with his arms.

When Loki simply stood there expressionless on the rail looking at the mortal the thunder finally started. It made him flinch and then scoff at himself, was he truly so pathetic as to be afraid of what Thor, no what Odin would do to him when he had planned to kill himself? It was not as if the young Áss would reach him in time to prevent the inevitable. 

“Hey, did you know that your staying quiet and simply staring is way more nerve wrecking than the whole 'I shall step on thou, you lowly mortal ant' speech?” he took a few steps forward and then seemed to actually look at Loki for real. Loki knew himself to be a mess, he was naturally pale in his Áss form but nothing compared to what he must be now and the dark circles had been a permanent thing for weeks. His hair was a curly mess and even if one had a comb it would take a long while to sort it all out.

The mortal whistled “You don't look too good Reindeer Games” he seemed to hesitate and then opened the helmet.

Loki looked at where the thunder had come from and then back at the mortal. He still had a few minutes left till his once so called brother would reach them.

“What kind of game are you playing now?” the man of iron asked “Ah, I forgot to introduce myself, I usually don't have to considering I'm the richest person on the planet and all that.” the man paused for a second, seemingly waiting for some kind of reaction from Loki “The name is Tony Stark, please call me Tony. Stark is just, well that was my father.”

There was a loud rumble heard, the thunder was getting closer now and he did not have time to stall any longer.

“Are you pulling a 'Hellicarier 2.0'?” the man of Iron continued.

Loki turned his head up looking at the sky ignoring the mortal and whispered “I'm sorry, please forgive me” as he leaned back letting himself fall. He closed his eyes and smiled for the first time in decades, one not of madness nor a fake one but a true warm smile. Finally the universe would be rid of the trickster god, the god of chaos and destruction.

“Oh Mother F-” was heard from the man of iron but Loki was soon too far away to hear the man swearing and cursing but he didn't care that it would all end for him for he would at last be able to see one of his beloved children.

He felt the panic as he got closer to the ground like last time but unlike last time his magic was sealed and he could do nothing to prevent the inevitable. A part of him felt relief that the cuff worked and and the part that still wished to live felt panic and despair. Had he had more time his magic would have fought the cuffs and released him but there really was no time for it to do so. Of course his magic was already working on the cuffs but in the attempt was all in vain, there simply was not enough time. 

He felt as he gained speed and there would only be seconds left before he hit the ground, his magic was fighting hard trying to save him as it felt its owners resignation.

And then suddenly there were strong metallic arms wrapped around him and a metal body pressing against his back. He barely had time to realise what was happening before he was no longer falling but flying.

He should have seen it coming, things never did turn out as they should when he was involved, Loki truly felt like the useless creature he saw himself as.

Loki was completely limb in the metallic arms, he noticed that he was probably in some form of chock. 

It was like the lightning went through his body when he heard the thunder closer than ever and he was brought/dragged out of his stupor. He started fighting the arms holding him but his body was weak from the malnourished state he was in and could not get the metallic arms to let him go.

“RELEASE ME!” Loki cried out desperately “LET ME GO!”

Stark seemed unglazed by his sudden resistance and kept his course onwards. 

“ _Unhand me now mortal or you will regret touching me, a GOD_ ” the trickster said as menacingly as he could in his current situation while clawing at the metallic arms and considering that he was the god of lies most would not hear the tremble in his voice nor would Stark. Of course the man saw through Loki's act knowing his threat was for naught and ignored him anyway. Curse his life.

“I just want it all to end” he whispered “Why am I over and over again denied this mercy?”

At least they were not moving towards Thor at the moment but Loki knew that in the end it would not change anything. 

“I failed drowning myself and then when I let go even the darkness threw me out” he sighed “And the consequences are just getting worse.. eternal winter in a land of spring, death and war, then why do we not add Ragnarök to the mix? That would be lovely”

His reckless fighting style had begun with not caring if he died or not and then ended up being a lethal and beautiful style of fighting that looked more like dancing. The irony of his life. He had not been suicidal no, simply not caring and the first time he actually tried to kill himself it was to prevent Odin from being able to find his newborn child which had backfired. Letting go by the rainbow bridge had been the first time he truly wished to die and just let the world be rid of him.

Escaping Asgard had been easy, too easy to resist and how he regretted it at this moment. If he had stayed he would have known what waited him, torture for sure and imprisonment till Ragnarök for death was a too kind a punishment.

“BY THE NORNS WHY WILL THE UNIVERSE _NOT LET ME DIE ALREADY?!_ ” he screamed at nothing in particular. _Ah, I seem to have picked up a bad habit of talking to myself_ he thought bitterly. 

He had almost forgotten that his magic was working on the cuffs when he felt its triumph as it broke through another layer of the magic restricting cuffs. That made his pause with his struggles, maybe just maybe he would be lucky enough for once and he would be released before Thor arrived. Fate really had something against him but he might just get this small mercy. _Not that a monster would ever deserve mercy_ he thought. He knew that thinking of himself as another being and talking out loud probably was not a sign of good mental health, but a monster is a monster regardless of his mental state.

When his magic broke down the last needed layer of the cuffs magic he was too concentrated on his teleportation spell (more like, or exactly like moving to another plane of existence and then reappearing elsewhere) to notice that they had slowed down and a worried Tony Stark was looking at him.

 

As he reappeared in his old broken down apartment he let himself collapse onto the floor where he remained unmoving.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am not sure if I will continue this story or leave it here. Most likely it will end here, just warning you so you don't get your hopes up and think there will be more.  
> Ugh I feel like an awful author which I am so... Sorry.
> 
> All faults are mine alone and since I'm from Sweden I can blame it on the fact that English isn't really my mother language.


End file.
